Anger

Recently, I've thought a lot about how much motivation I had in the past in comparison to post-undergraduate life. It didn't take long before I realized that the thing that fueled my high school academics was my anger. Anger towards the people I called friends, the people I played soccer with, teachers and authority figures at THS, my siblings, and my parents. It was less on my parents and siblings than anyone else, but I still had a lot of anger towards everyone.

The question is now how to regain my motivation and drive. I know its there and occassionally I find the will to try something entirely out of my reach, but it is hard to maintain without the force of nature known as my anger pushing me. Should I reestablish my anger in order to renew my motivation? Will that change me more than when I finally let it go? Who's kidding who? I'm still an angry s.o.b. sometimes but for the most part I've let up on my temper. Do I and should I be angry for the sake of my future? Or should I just keep my person as is?

Man I miss the days where I could run everyday without hassle. Sprained ankles suck.

Backpack

So after 10 or so long years of using the same backpack for school and for outings, my trusty old Eddy Bauer backpack is being laid to rest. In quite a disgusting manner, the bottom lining of my backpack had started to come off in my books and notebooks as black pieces of plastic which coated everything from my epi-pen to my neoprene laptop case. I actually started looking for a backpack a couple months ago, but didn't have a chance to buy it (and it wasn't on sale) until just this past weekend. Yay Memorial Day weekend Sale! I bought this backpack (http://www.citysports.com/citysports/product.asp?s_id=0&prod_name=The+North+Face+Hot+Shot+Special+Edition&pf_id=149066&dept_id=541&dl_id=88) and liked it a lot since I saw it way back when. Hopefully my choice was sound and this backpack also lasts me forever and ever. Well, considering I'm going to be a student for at least another year and many more years after that.

Anywho, the outside is a weird blend of white knit material and plastic/nylon to make it water proof. Despite this I'm sure it'll get dirty quickly and I'll find some way to break it in a few years, but my old and faithful backpack is, in reality, dying and must be laid to rest peacefully. Violently laying a backpack to rest might make me lose stuff. Like my wallet. ^ ^;;

So what do you think? Good choice? Bad Choice?

I'll post on my trip to Dartmouth next week. I'm getting all my thoughts sorted and studying done first.

Silly Things

So my roommate loves basketball, but unfortunately the Pistons got knocked out of the running for the NBA finals early on. Right now, the Red Wings are duking it out with the Chicago Blackhawks for the conference finals. My roommate has control of the TV. I am thinking that I should go somewhere else to watch the game, but I also want some food without spending an arm and a leg. The choices are endless considering it is only 3:32 PM, but I really don't feel like dressing up considering how my weekend was fill with such things.

I'll figure something out, but it's just funny that if it were my team I'm sure I'd be watching basketball and she would be waiting to watch whatever team(s) she wanted to root for during the "finals" nights.

Asian Mafia

I really miss the days when I would cry out for help and the asian mafia would descend on me like angels from heaven to help me with such foreign concepts as "make-up" and "formals." I thought I could avoid that kind of stuff in the real world as I'm working towards the field of medicine, but it seems to have caught up with me.

To sound extremely vain, I want to wear make-up to look my age. I just don't know how. Geebus mcpheebus. And yes, it has caught up with me. "Where?" you may ask? A wedding. A friend of mine, Meredith Wilson, is getting married on Saturday and I have no idea how to put eyeshadow, liner, and mascara on properly. Okay, that might be a lie. I know how to put all that stuff on without damaging my eyes or poking out anything that I might need for survival, but I would like to be able to do it WELL for such social functions like weddings, parties, dances, etc.

Man I really do miss the asian mafia right now and I feel like I took them for granted. I should have been a better friend and hung out with them more even if I did feel like I was turning into a brand whore. I mean, I'm friends with Monica and she's the brand whore. eh. okay. I'm just terrible at all things girly, but I'm comfortable. That's just who I am. asp;dofiawerkfdafda;flsda;woiekfa. I need to fix this make-up thing. I don't like being self-conscious about something like this... Will report tomorrow after I bother the Shiseido lady into helping me use make-up. After all I've already bought a shitload of stuff from her. (face wash and the like... i'm not an idiot.)

Sandwiches

For some reason I am able to smell some delicious deli sandwiches from my desk with my windows open. This begs the question if I should make a sandwich myself or go out and buy one because I have quite a lot of work to do. They smell like the perfect combination of sweet meats, salty dressings, and bread. I guess I'm really really hungry. I'm just feeling too lazy after all the traveling I did to get my ass to school, return this book, get my shots, and study for mcats. *sigh*

Post-Finals

Like any good few days after finals, I got sick and stayed in bed all day yesterday. The by-product? Now I'm awake at a lovely 2:41 AM because I'm just not tired. Granted I was tired earlier, but I ignored that, invited people over for dinner and completely missed the point of being sick. (aka the stay away from people so you don't spread your germies) Oh well.

In other news, I'm a terrible roommate. I didn't ask when my roommate's finals were, just like she didn't ask when mine were and so I figured that when I was done with finals, she would be too. Now in our wonderful co-existence of passive aggressive-ness this would normally be okay. However, I invited people over for dinner and made lots of lovely noise to comfort myself in the solitude that I would achieve next week when everybody around here peaced the fuck out. *sigh* I was trying to be a good roommate, cleaning up, keeping quiet, not nagging, buying birthday and christmas gifts and whatnots, but you know, it only goes so far if its one sided. It's like writing a letter and shoving it in a bottle. The bottle might actually get to someone but more likely it's going to get picked up by some "save the earth" fanatics who will then proceed to track you down and canvass infront of your house for the next year.

My point? Being nice was useless, I'm sure she would have acted the same way anyhow. In addition, I miss my old roommates. They were fun/funny and I could convince them to do fun stuff with me. Alrighty, time to get back to reading bad manga in hopes that it will lull me to sleep. I'll post again soon. I optimistically aim for once a week. eh... maybe that'll work.

First Post

It's the sacred first post. Will I make an impression? Should I tremble at my keyboard while writing this entry? The answer is probably not to both of those questions.

Welcome to the new blog, I'm switching over from Xanga so I'll post a link, phone my "5", and make some sort of declaration on facebook. I am just that modern. No, I won't twitter. Sorry, I'll pass on being connected ALL THE TIME. I like to have me time, whether it is just reading a book or shooting people on my Wii. Yes, both are healthy habits.

Anywho, I have to study for my last final and register for a summer class. More details on that later. But welcome to One Geebus a Day. You know it's my favorite catch phrase for exasperation. I'm sure you love it too.

Geebus to finals.